My 100 Most Favorite Video Games of All Time #99: Megamania

If anyone remembers the commercial for the Atari 2600’s Megamania, they most likely remember the sense of chaos it conveyed and the Tubes’ theme song.  It was crazy, man, crazy. 

The game plays like a cross between Space Invaders and Galaga, but looks nothing like them; instead of aliens coming after you, it has things like hamburgers and bow ties.   Since it was the Atari 2600 it looked like various shapes, but it was supposed to be hamburgers and bow ties.  Whatever.  It was fun either way.  What does defy logic, however, was the Activision game itself.

Shooting things from space was nothing new for video games.  The way this game was set up, though, had people shaking their heads.  You were a ship that looked like something out of Star Trek, and you were stationed at the bottom of the screen.  You could move left or right only.  It was never established that the ship was grounded, so that made little sense.  Your targets could move left to right or up and down, passing you and coming back out the top of the screen.  Galaga worked better when it came to giving the sense of flight through space.  Stars moved past your ship.  Here there is nothing but black.  That said, the game billed itself as a “space nightmare,” and nightmares lack logic, so perhaps that was all part of Activision’s ploy.

Activision, the maker of this and many other fine games, offered its traditional patch for breaking a high score, and if you reached the max cap out on points the game would freeze.  Classic Atari and Activision.  The game didn’t need a patch, however, to sell.  It was fun, furious and fast.  Each object had a different movement pattern, and you waited with eager anticipation to see what type of thing you would see next.  One of the kids in my neighborhood couldn’t play the game because it made him “nervous.”   I thought that was part of the game’s appeal.  I had my daughter, who has played many different newer games, try it recently.  I wanted to see what kind of reaction a person who never played it before would have if they were raised on a later generation of video games.  She played a few times and described it as “intense and exciting,” but then asked if we could play Oops, Prank Party.  What does that tell you?

Unlike the previous game on this list, Dark Chambers, I did factor this game into my decision to buy a classic game anthology.  I saw that it was on there, and knew it was one I had to have.  After playing it again, I can say it has lost some of its appeal, but it doesn’t tarnish my memory of it at all.  Megamania was a game I sunk a lot of time into back in the day.  I was not great at it, but it was a guilty pleasure.  As for my friend who was made nervous by it – try it now.  I guarantee it won’t make you all twitchy.

My 100 Most Favorite Video Games of All Time #100: Dark Chambers

Why the hell do I like Dark Chambers for the Atari 7800?  I’m sure if I played it now, I’d be asking myself that every step of the way.  But back in the day … man, I played this for far too long and got far too much enjoyment from it. 

The sole reason I played it so much was because I couldn’t find many games for the Atari 7800, I was a Dungeons and Dragons fan, and I loved Gauntlet.  Pretty much any one of those reasons would be enough for me to purchase the game, though.  Yes, it did rip off Gauntlet, but the draw for me was having a game like Gauntlet at home.  No creepy voice was telling me I needed food or a potion or something, and there weren’t 800 ghosts choking up the screen, but it was fun nonetheless. 

The game is usually correctly criticized for being slow and kind of pointless.  Sort of like that one uncle nobody wants at the picnic.  I can agree with that, but back in the late ‘80s a lot of games were kind of slow and pointless, and to the best of my knowledge there were no other Gauntlet rip-offs for the system.  How could you go wrong?  If you liked Gauntlet, chances were that you would like Dark Chambers, too.  That said, I don’t know of anyone who likes this game more than Gauntlet.

This game gave you a taste of an arcade hit at home.  That’s what made it cool.  That’s what made it fun.  These days it would be maddening.  Back then I couldn’t get enough of it … and I wasn’t on drugs.  And while fond memories put it on this list, I can safely say if it showed up on some greatest hits collection it is highly unlikely I would factor that into my decision on whether or not I would buy it … maybe.

My Favorite 100 Video Games of All Time

Over on my movie blog, The Last Picture Blog, I started doing my favorite 100 movies of all time.  It was a fun list to do, but I actually started the video game list first.  The video game list was harder to compile, too.  When I looked over what I had, I thought, "Oh, this is an odd assortment of games."  I'm sure most of you, upon reading the complete list, will agree.

Starting next post you will be the beginning of this list.  Agree or disagree with what I wrote, I hope to hear from you.

Your Most Favorite Games of All Times

I'm quickly approaching my 100th post, and I wanted to do something on my 100 favorite games of all time.  Not the best games, but the ones I enjoyed playing the most.  I'm not even halfway through the list.  What I am curious to know, however, is what are your favorite games?  Perhaps your list (however big you'd like it) could help jog my memory.

I ask that you post them in the comment section here, perhaps with a small explanation for each game.  You can list one or 1,000.  I don't care.

Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords

How can a game that mixes Bejeweled mechanics with elements of an RPG possibly hope to succeed?  Well, it can't.  On paper, it doesn't work.  It doesn't even sound like it could possibly work.  In fact, I'd love to read the pitch for this because nothing about screams, "Excellent idea!"

Except it does work, and it works really well.

Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords not only works, it is amazingly addictive in the way all good puzzle games are, and I can't figure out how that happened.  Not only does it work well, the game is also pretty damn deep and includes not only the required stats boosting and spell casting you would expect to find in an RPG, but dungeon building, capturing monsters and using mounts.  If you haven't played it and can't figure out how any of this would work, don't fret.  I couldn't figure it out, either, but it took a chance and bought it on the PSN and have been playing it ever since.

It's available on almost any platform you can imagine, and it got great reviews, but somehow it slipped under my decidedly broken radar.  Now that I have my hands on it, though, I can only say, "Brilliant."  It kind of makes me wonder what else is out there that I've been missing.  I doubt there's another game quite like this (though one comes to mind that isn't nearly as good), and maybe that's a good thing.  There is really only one true Tetris and a host of imitators, so for there to be one true Puzzle Quest isn't a negative.  It's a sign that capturing lightning in a bottle sometimes only happens once, though the rest of the world will try to replicate it ... no matter how poor the outcome.

Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: I bought this game, and clicking on a link may earn me some cash.

Dream Big, Slacker

I can wrap my mind around a lot of video game concepts.  Listening to a sweaty John Madden for hours on end.  Micromanaging bathroom habits for Sims.  Delving into a fantasy that is anything but final.  Getting married to an elf chick in WOW only to find out he's a stay-at-home dude.  I can, on various levels, understand that.  One thing I've never understood, though, is video games based on the Olympics.

The Olympics appeals to the broadest fan base as possible.  Many die-hard sports fans that I know find the Olympics to be boring fluff with consequences that matter not one bit in the "real" world of sports.  The games themselves are great for the networks, as they justify inflated ad rates.  With this in mind, I find it extremely puzzling that anyone plays video games based on these games.

First of all, I know these games are produced, but I don't know if anyone really buys them.  I've never seen anyone play one.  I've never heard of anyone outside a game critic who has played one.  I don't even recall seeing them available for rent at any video store.  Nobody has ever said to me, "Oh, you've got to play Vancouver 2010."  Nobody.  Ever.

Who are these games made for?  Who plays them?  Slackers looking to dream big?  "Well, I always wanted a gold medal in downhill skiing, but I'm stuck working at Wendy's and can only do it in video games because I can't get time off to train."  I seriously doubt that is the scenario at play here.  So what is it?

I imagine the companies that put these games out lose money on them.  They think, "This will be the Olympics game that puts Olympic games on the map."  And they see the profits rain in.  Or maybe they are tax write-offs, which seems far more logical.

If anyone has any insider information on this senseless craze, I'd love to hear it.  In the meantime, I'm avoiding these like I avoid corned beef hash and other senseless items.  

To The Kill -- Nazi Hunting in a New America

If there's one group even the most peace-loving, bleeding heart liberal thinks it is okay to kill, it's Nazis.  One need not look any further than video games to see this in action.  In fact, when it comes to video games, the only group to fare worse than Nazis when it comes to head and crotch shots is aliens.

The Medal of Honor series, started by Hollywood's most acclaimed Nazi hunter Steven Spielberg, is a franchise created around the joys and hopeful historic revision of Nazi hunting.  This isn't the only franchise or game where this has happened, either.  Nazi shooting is uber alles.  Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines, Wolfenstein, Battlefield 1942 ... the list goes on.  Had any other group been the target of such animosity, people would be up in arms.  A franchise based around the killing of, say, the Quakers?  Congress would be holding a special session and lots of hand wringing would ensue.

There have been other groups of people targeted (no pun intended) by video games.  People from the Middle East come to mind.  When it comes to Nazis, however, it seems not only okay, but lauded.

Yes, Nazis were "bad guys."  And, yes, as a group it is historically fascinating.  I just find it odd that people aren't a little uncomfortable with this wholesale slaughter of people who really existed as entertainment.  I know that video games are fantasy, but is it really this many people's fantasy to go around collecting Nazi head shots?  Again, what if these games weren't based around killing Nazis, but instead shooting Occupy Wall Street members?  Liberal Slaughter: Tent City Terror brought to you by Rush Limbaugh?  Wouldn't that raise some sort of red flag?

Of course not.  It's Nazis.  Who gives a fuck?  They lost (or so we think).  They did horrible, awful things, unlike any other political group in the world or throughout history.  Plus, it's a matter of numbers. When the US put Asians in camps during WWII (sponsored by Nabisco), it was for that blanket known as National Security, and we didn't execute millions of them.  The Nazis are always worse.  That's why we brought them into our country and utilized them on the space program ... so we could keep an eye on them.  Right?  Right.

Eventually, and it is bound to happen, history will present us with a bigger target than Nazis.  Islamic terrorists aren't there yet, but they are working on it.  One can only wonder what will happen if 50 years from now it isn't Nazis finding themselves in the video game sniper scope, but American troops.  How well will that go over?  We may never know because as Americans we are always finding new and exciting ways of demonizing anyone but us.  History shows that, and so do video games.

Keep killing Nazis.  It's fun, exciting, and requires zero critical thinking.  Happy hunting!

X-Men Legends

It had been a few years since I had played X-Men Legends.  It's not that I didn't like it.  On the contrary, I think it's a great game.  I just have been doing other things.  I've come back to it, though, and it's all because of my daughter.

Lately my little girl has been very interested in the X-Men.  She loves the movies and is currently reading some of my trade paperbacks.  She has a ton of questions about the muties, too.  When I asked her if she'd like to play the game, her answer was a solid, "Yes!"

And she loves it.

I kind of figured that was a given, since it is essentially a role-playing game with the player in the role of a number of different mutant heroes.  (She likes Storm and Jean Grey.)  Playing the game with her is, admittedly, even more fun than playing solo.  She hasn't played too many co-op games with me because she enjoys kicking my butt more than kicking someone else's butt, but she is learning.  Surprisingly, the game holds up, too.

Once we're done we're moving on to the sequel.  From there?  Perhaps Marvel Ultimate Alliance or the similar Justice League game.  (She actually played that a bit about two years ago and liked it, so revisiting it may be in order.)  In the meantime, though, I'm going to milk this new found love of the X-Men for all it is worth.

Cleaving Skulls in Two Part Two

I few posts ago I wrote about my latest session with Dungeons and Dragons Tactics.  You can read about it here if you are so inclined.  Part of what I wrote dealt with my creation of a character based on Robert E. Howard's Conan.

Conan is dead.

It was bound to happen.  I got over zealous fighting some trolls.  Before I could get healed, I bled out all over the ground.  It happens to the best of us.  It happened to Conan. 

I'm strange when it comes to these types of role playing games.  If my character dies, I don't usually bring him back.  I won't go to the last saved game and start anew.  And while Conan was only at fifth level, I had grown quite fond of him, but I still wasn't bringing him back.  So the game has ended ... for now.

I'll go back to it at some point.  I'll make a new character and start all over again.  Maybe I'll make it past the fifth level.  Maybe I won't make it past the first.  Either way, I will never be playing Conan again.  I won't remake him.  I will be deleting the saved file.  He is, like my assassin character in the original paper and pencil game, gone to the Happy Hunting Grounds never to see the windswept plains again. 

As I watched the Game Over screen come up, only one thing really came to mind.  A troll?  Really?  Yeah.  Definitely not an ending fit for the greatest barbarian of all time.

Thoughts on Gamefly

I know a lot of people who use Netflix, myself being one of them.  I don't, however, know of anyone who uses Gamefly.  Correction: I may know one person, but I don't recall ever really hearing them talk about it.

On the surface, Gamefly seems like a really good idea.  It's the same principle as Netflix, but with videogames.  Using the service lets you try before you buy.  Most video stores have a game section, as well, and I don't really utilize that either.  And I have a pretty valid reason why.

I don't like renting games.

It's a little more complicated than that really.  Renting a game already puts pressure on the idea of getting it back to the rental agency in a timely manner.  Gamefly doesn't have late fees (that I know of), but there is still that pressure that you want to get your money's worth.  To do that, you have to rent a set number of games.  I don't want to be pressured to get a game back at a certain time.  I want to take my time with it, enjoy it at a leisurely pace.  Renting doesn't let me do that, and that's why I shy away from it.  Of course, that means I have to buy them, and that leaves me vulnerable to spending hard-earned money on a subpar game.

That has happened from time to time, though I know my tastes well enough to know whether or not I will enjoy a game, and reviews help work out issues that have nothing to do with tastes like bugs or poor controls and camera.  Because of this, I end up with games I enjoy more often than not, and if I don't or if I tire of them, I can sell them on eBay or some place like that dungeon Gamestop.

I think Gamefly works fine for plenty of people, but it isn't for me or anyone else who wants to take their time with a game.  For those who don't have the time to dig into every games reviews or the money to take a chance on a game they may not enjoy, it is actually fairly idea.  It shouldn't take too long to realize whether or not you like a game enough to want to buy it, and in that sense the company is a godsend. 

If anyone has any thoughts on the company, I'd love to hear them because my daughter has asked me about it, and I think it may be worth getting for her if only because her desire to play games is less so than mine, and she is far more fickle.  Let me know if you think it is worth it, what you pay, what problems you've had and so on. 

Shoot 'Em Dead Link-Style

Link's Crossbow Training was the first Wii game to use the Wii Zapper.  Was it a good game to showcase this "technology"?  Yes, though it is a little too short as far as a game goes.

This, of course, isn't your traditional Zelda game, as it is first person shooter with you as Link armed with a ... wait for it ... crossbow.  The bolts can be fired in a rapid motion and you can even set some to explode, so realism is kind of tossed to the wind.  Of course, how real can a game be that features the undead shambling around?  Exactly. 

When this first came out, the Zapper was a foreign object.  It looked kind of like a gun and handled like one, but it was really nothing more than a device for keeping the Wii Remote held steady while you shot death across the screen.  Other companies have, of course, copied this, but the original device still holds up quite well when compared to the newer models.

I will admit that I was never a big fan of Link and crew.  This game, however, has kind of made me interested in going back and giving the games (all 800 of them) another chance.  I understand this game is nothing like the others, but I think I have a newfound respect for the characters.  I'm sure the storylines will be dismal, but I am also willing to bet I may get some newfound enjoyment out of them now that I've spent some time taking down hordes of evil and blowing up  things. 
Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: I did not get this game for free. Clicking on a link may earn me a commission, too.
 

Cleaving Skulls in Two

Back in the day I played Dungeons and Dragons.  Yep, I admit it.  Played it a lot.  Eventually I stopped.  This was before the new rules came out.  Back when it used about 800 different die.  Then, one day while shopping for PSP games, I came across Dungeons and Dragons Tactics.  I bought it.

I was hesitant to buy it, as I thought it was a bit expensive, and then when I saw the manual was quite a few pages, I really wondered what the hell I had gotten into.  After playing it a few times I put it away for about a year.  Just recently I've picked it up again, however, and I have to say that I'm taking the game much more seriously and having a really good time with it.

Usually I enjoy making up my own characters.  This time was no exception, though I made Conan.  I just thought it would be fun to do.  A barbarian based off Robert E. Howard's mastermind creation.  What could go wrong?  Absolutely nothing.  I'm enjoying the hell out of this critically panned game this time around.

Granted, the game has issues.  The camera is annoying, there are a lot of steps one must take to do simple things.  That's okay, though.  This is not meant for people whose attention spans are non-existent.  It's more zen-like, and while you may be carving zombies limb from limb, it is actually quite peaceful.

I'm not sure why the game is called Dungeons and Dragons Tactics as it could have been called just about anything else with a Dungeons and Dragons name and made more sense.  This is not some real-time strategy game, though there is that.  It is a role-playing video game through and through and those looking for something different probably felt a bit ripped off.  It does, however, remind me quite a bit of the old D&D games ... minus pizza and a lot of cursing.
Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: I paid for this game, and if you click on a link, I may earn a commission.

Bayshore Malls' Gamestop Creatures

Eureka, California's Bayshore Mall has had a Gamestop store for quite a few years.  Recently it moved into a bigger location within the mall, which was necessary.  Before, when it was located by the food court, any kind of shopping done at anything but the most off hours resulted in you being jostled by the unwashed masses who would rather converse amongs themselves about Call of Duty instead of watching were they were actually going.  The new location is bigger, cleaner, better lit and smells less of desperation and more like new carpet ... still.  It really is like the difference between Taster's Choice coffee and, well, any other brand of coffee.

I was in Gamestop over the weekend, looking for games for my daughter.  As always, there were the gaggle of teen boys trying to convince their parents to part with their hard-earned dough.  ("But you don't play the first one of this game."  "I know, Mom.  This is new.")  It's something these parents should get used to, as it will probably last until the kid is into his twenties.  And while I find these slacker morons annoying, it's really the sales staff that pushes my buttons.

First, is it just me, or is it that any guy over 30 who works there comes across as a bit creepy?  I'm actually tempted to take a part-time position to see if that is something they train you on.  ("Don't come across as a pedophile.  Come across as a guy who would get a teenage boy stoned to see if you could talk him into 'trying something new.'  Play up the fact that you have your own apartment.  Do not discuss that your mother helps you with rent.  Do make sure to point out you can buy alcohol and have a 'kick ass' sound system.")  I'm sure it's just me.  That stoner predatory feel isn't the most annoying thing about them, though.  It's the upsell.

I know every store employee these days is encouraged to do the upsell.  You know what it is, even if you didn't know the name.  It's when you are making a purchase and everything from batteries to warranties are thrown at you in an attempt to get you to part with even more money.  At Gamestop they even try to sell you a warranty that will fix scratched games.  "No thanks," I said.  "I keep everything in good shape.  I'm not like a lot of these idiots here."  That always results in looks of hatred from the people behind you.

The upsell is one of the more tiresome retail experiences.  It is one of those things that drives people to shop more on the Internet, and it is something that makes me dread taking a purchase to the counter.  If I need batteries, a warranty, a subscription to a game magazine or to pre-order the "next hot thing," I'll do what anyone else can do and ask.  A salesperson pushing it upon me won't suddenly trigger something in my mind like, "Shit, I do need a dozen double A batteries."  You aren't that good.  It won't work.

You know, Gamestop, that smell of despair that used to ooze from your old location?  I used to think that was the customers.  The folks who masturbated over World of Warcraft "relationships."  Now I know differently.  That's coming from the sales staff.  A more desperate group of predators (in every sense) I have yet to meet.  I imagine it won't be long before that new carpet smell is replaced, and you folks will be hunting yet again for a new location to taint.

Shooting Up Cars and Hunting Spys

It was the early '80s.  My brother and I, whenever dragged to one of Allentown, PA's various malls, would beg and plead to be taken to Chuck E. Cheese.  You know, that place where a kid can be a kid.  (Incidentally, my first date with the woman who would later become my wife, was to a Chuck E. Cheese.  I thought it would be funny.  The staff apparently wouldn't let a punk rock guy and girl without a kid in tow partake of the fun, so I, in my usual subtle manner, promised to return later and "but the place to the ground."  Excellent first date.)  If you've never stepped foot in a Chuck E. Cheese, just know it's like a kid's paradise ... but without hookers and blow.  There are arcade games everywhere.  Pizza is served by harried staff, and prizes are to be won.

My brother and I always sought out the latest arcade games.  One day, as we walked around taking in the sites, we heard the electronic Peter Gunn theme (not knowing what it was at the time).  We were drawn to it like frat boys to an unconscious girl of questionable age ("It's my first grown-up party.").  There it was.  Spy Hunter.

Could a game be more perfect?  No.  You drive around in a car and utilize various weapons to destroy other cars.  Machine guns.  Oil slicks.  Missiles.  You could even pilot a boat!  Of course, your enemies, with their weapons and spikes that shred tires, were out to get you, too.  It was perfect.  It was magic.  It was something we fought over tooth and nail.

As soon as we entered Chuck E. Cheese, we would start for the game at the speed of light.  My mom would ask, "What do you want?"  Our answer was always "pepperoni pizza," but since we were running and screaming it probably sounded more like, "arghghghghghghgh yeyeyeeyeye!"

Quarters in hand, we'd dodge kids, hoping nobody was at the game's steering wheel.  If it was empty, it was a race to see who could get their quarter in first.  Often this ended in much shoving and banging of one's head on the game.  The loser of this gladiator-style brawl would then have to wait patiently for the other to use up his supply of cars.  If you were the loser, it was okay because watching someone play the game was just as much fun as playing it.

My brother and I fought over this game many times.  Despite that, however, when I was lucky enough to locate a sit-down version of it, I clued him right in.  "It feels more real," I told him.  It didn't, but that didn't matter.  It was Spy Hunter, and for months nothing even came close to catching our attention on its level.

Did I ever go back and burn the pizza place down?  No.  But while I was in there I swore I heard that familiar music ... and for a second I was a kid again.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Click on a link, and I may earn cash.

Extreme -- A Term I Use Loosely -- Pinball: Urban Chaos

Back in 1995 a game called Extreme Pinball came out for the PlayStation.  How pinball, which I happen to enjoy, can be extreme is anyone's guess, but here was a game based on the concept.  In 2010 the game became available on the PlayStation Network, where I got it for my PSP.  I've played a little bit on all the tables, but the Urban Chaos table, pictured here, is the one I spent the most time on.  Why?  No idea.

The load screen for the table promises lots of urban chaos.  Semis going off broken bridges into strip clubs, helicopters, fire trucks.  You know, a typical night in the big urban center.  At some point you can read about the story behind the table.  Yes, it has a story.  Why any table would need a story is beyond me, but this one tries its best to instill fear.  I can't go into too much detail, as I forgot it as soon as I read it, but I think cities are named after television networks, and there are people rioting.  It's kind of like a Dead Kennedys song, only not as good.

Nobody who plays video pinball plays for the story, however.  If they did, they would be a special kind of weirdo who not only doesn't get laid, but finds masturbating "distasteful," and instead settles for discreet "readjustments."  The rest of you play it for the virtual pinball experience, which this table kind of delivers.

The table makes it look like there is more going on then there really is.  Instead of chaos, it's more like a stroll through the city.  Four flippers, of course.  Many ramps.  Not a lot to see and do, however.  It is within the first ball, though, that you realize why it is "extreme."

You can score a lot of points quickly.  A lot.  Where some games give you a thousand points for some action, this one does ten thousand.  Looking at it with your right eye gives you a cool million.  Hit the ball with a flipper?  Five million.  I exaggerate, but you get the idea.  The extreme is in the scoring.  Oh, and a visual of a car blowing up when the game ends.

This is far from the most horrible game I've ever played, and I will admit to enjoying it despite what seems like every effort made to make sure someone couldn't enjoy it.  There are better pinball games out there (including every single real table ever made), but it makes for a nice diversion while waiting for laundry to get done.

Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  I did not get this game for free, and if you click on a link, I may earn some cash.

Descent: Sickness at the Keyboard

Ages ago, when I got my iMac, I received a bunch of free games with it.  One of those games was the 1995, nausea-inducing Descent.  It was the first and only game that made me motion sick the first couple of times I played it.

For those who don't know, Descent is a standard first-person shooter.  Instead of a Nazi hunter or marine, you are a pilot in a spaceship.  Typically in a first-person shooter you walk through halls or through tunnels.  In this game, however, you have total freedom of movement in zero gravity.  Six degrees of movement actually, just as if you were flying a plane.

In flight simulation games you have similar movement, and it rarely causes motion sickness.  A great portion of this game (if not the entire thing -- it has been years since I've played) takes place in mines, which means there is a "correct" up and a "correct" down.  Instead of "walking" through the mines, you are "flying" through them, complete with barrel rolls, flips -- you name it.  When critics who first reviewed the game complained about how sick it made you, they weren't kidding.  They were entirely correct.

It took several go-arounds with this game before I got used to it.  I never actually suffer from motion sickness from first-person shooters or movies filmed with handheld cameras like The Blair Witch Project.  Nor does being a passenger in a car make me motion sick.  This game, however, kicked my ass.  And a lot of other people's, too.  Did that make it a bad game.  Nope.  If anything, it made it a bit more realistic.  I would expect to have the same feelings of dizziness and wanting to vomit if I really were flying a spaceship through mine tunnels at incredible speeds while doing defensive maneuvers ... at least for the first couple of times. 

If the game had sucked, I would've stopped playing then and there, but it was actually a good game.  It was unlike anything I had played up until that time, and it had plenty of action.  Blowing up spaceships was nowhere near as satisfying as pulling off a headshot to an enemy, but then again you can't fly upside down through the air to do that, either.  

Brilliant Alien Rip-Off

One of the arcade games I enjoyed playing in the late 1980s was a direct rip-off of Alien.  That game was Xenophobe.

Those who played the game remembered that it was unique for its three-level split screen, which allowed for players to explore the levels on their own without having to wait for their partner to catch up.  That wasn't what drew me to the game, though.

The graphics are a bit on the cartoony side, but it works for the game.  As one of several different characters you would explore space ships, space stations and the like looking for aliens to kill.  The aliens are what drew me to the game.  Not only did they kind of look like Alien, but you had eggs that hatched, giving birth to aliens that clung to your body.  Larger aliens spit acid at you, and acid also dripped from the ceiling in spots.  How Bally Midway got away with this is unknown, but to me the influence of the famous sci-fi movie was thoroughly blatant enough that I always wondered how the company didn't get sued.

The game got great reviews and is still loved by many.  If you look it up online you'll see many references to how much it resembles Alien in many ways.  What I could not find, however, was any mention of whether or not there was ever a lawsuit.  Seeing as the sci-fi franchise has had video games released, this seems like it would inevitable, yet there is nothing.  Perhaps it is because it is obvious to anyone playing the game that this is more of a homage than an attempt to cash-in on the movies.  Afterall, there are other sci-fi franchise nods in the game (such as to Star Trek).  Maybe this is the one time were companies thought, "Well, this is pretty cool.  Let's let it go."  If so, I thank them because I'm pretty sure any lawsuit would've gotten this game yanked from arcades and store shelves and a good portion of the world would never know just how it was to play.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: I was not given this game to review.

Ostrich Wars: Joust

If in the '80s you were in an arcade and heard a mad pounding of buttons, it was one of two games.  If it were a furious pounding, it was Track and Field, which made players hit the dual button combo like old people at a slots tournament.  If it were a more rhythmic, controlled pounding, it was Joust, a game that featured your avatar riding on a flying ostrich while taking down enemies on buzzards.  Of course, this 1982 game also featured flying dinosaurs, lava and lava hands, floating platforms, and enemies who turned into eggs that hatched more badass enemies.  Needless to say, it was based on actual events.

I am a Joust fan, if only because of the simple, yet addictive game play.  It's not as addictive as Centipede or Tetris, but ask any player who remembers this game and the term that will often come up is "quarter sink."  Williams Electronics, the game's publishers, was unsure of how successful the game would be in the grand scheme of things. If the number of systems it's been ported to and number of cabinet types of games its been made into were any indication of success, this game would be solid gold.  Hell, it even had a pinball game made of it.  Players and critics agreed: the game was a hit.

Controlling your ostrich in the game took some getting used to.  You used a joystick to move it left and right, but had to tap a button to make its wings flap.  The more often you pushed, the higher and faster your ostrich would go.  Stop, and it would start to drop toward the lava.  It was the first time I had become aware of physics in a game, and the effect was startling.  It felt ... different.  Granted, once you played two or three times you got the hang of it, but that first time usually ended with the player reaching into his pocket for another quarter after a minute and a half.  That really did help land the game's success, too.  It was a different game, and it was one players were interested in playing.  It felt unique, and the new control mechanics sucked you in instead of ostracizing you.  (Contrast that to years later when Mortal Kombat had people turn away from the game after being destroyed by an opponent because they didn't want to take the time to learn the 8,392 button combinations.)

If you do a search, I'm sure you can find Joust for your phone, laptop or console.  Yes, the graphics are quaint and game play is simple, but it is far more enjoyable than a lot of crap out there today.  I played it again recently, and I can honestly say it has aged well.  Unlike, say, Myst.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: I did not receive this game to review.  Clicking on a link may earn me some golden coins.  Playing Joust may be addictive.

Nightmare Creatures

The other day I decided to break out the very first game I bought for the PlayStation, Nightmare Creatures.  I enjoyed it at the time as it had monsters, amputation, black magic and violence.  Just like growing up in PA.  Anyway ...

I haven't gone far in the game this time around (I had finished it shortly after buying it), but, as expected, it doesn't feel quite the same.  I will wait to do a fuller review until I play more of it, but my initial reaction is:  This was good as an early PS game, but seems a bit simplistic now.  Of course, it is screaming out for something on the current generation of systems, but whether or not that will happen depends on how hard up for ideas studios get.

Mixing bloody violence with black magic and devil worshipping in the way this game does (in a nice nod, one character has the last name of Crowley) was a risky move back then and would be now, too.  Most people don't want children near anything that reeks of Satanism (unless, of course, it's a preschool in CA).  I don't recall there being any kind of outcry over this game, though.  Maybe it was because nobody was really paying attention.  Years later they would be concerned over the hooker killing in the Grand Theft Auto franchise and the potential killer-in-training FPS games.  Satanism, when compared to those things, seems almost quaint.  (Mix the three and watch Congress go into a tailspin.)

I will do a longer write up on this in a few weeks.  Who knows -- I could change my mind about it totally and realize that it does hold up extremely well, graphics limitations taken into consideration.  My first impression, though, is that it plays more for the nostalgia factor than as good game.

Wii Sports Will Kill You

About a year or so ago I bought my daughter a Wii.  Every once in a while I decide to torture myself with it and play Wii Sports.  The one game on there I usually play is boxing.

If you haven't ever played the boxing mode, understand that any semblance to real-life boxing is entirely absent from this game.  You have no arms.  You box strange Asian men or '70s looking male porn stars.  The controls could only be less responsive if they were mired in caramel.  And pulling off a punch is satisfying if only because it's so damn hard.  No, I take that back.  It's fairly easy to pull of a hit.  It's hard to do one that's worth it.  So why do I torture myself so?  It's fun and great exercise.

Depending on how long I pound strange Asian men or '70s porn stars, my arms will ache for a day or so after.  Win a bout and your skill level climbs.  In other games this will make your character better.  In this game it just means you'll be facing harder enemies.  Your actual physical skills while matched with unresponsive controllers is all you'll have.  It doesn't matter what your skill level is in the game.  You're either gonna get your ass creamed or not.

The game is frustrating.  Not frustrating like N+, but frustrating nonetheless.  That frustration, however, translates into harder swings and more satisfaction when you take down your opponent.  Yes, your chest will feel like its about to explode, and your arms will hate you the next day, but you're working up a sweat and you just punched some big-headed weirdo in the face.  That's the sign success.

I have a skill level I'm trying to get to.  I'm about three hundred and some points away from it.  Getting there will be a minor victory in the game of life, but it will be a victory.  Can I make it?  Honestly, I don't even know if the skill level goes that high, but I'm going to push myself to try.  If I have a heart attack in the meantime, so be it.  I'm sure I won't be the first one to have that happen, and I won't be the last.  And that's the only way I'll let the game beat me.

Run, Coward!

In 1982 I must have spent roughly $3,486 in quarters playing Sinistar. Readers of a certain age surely remember the game with its loud roar, iconic phrases, evil skull-like space station that ate your ship if you got too close, and chaotic game play.  Next to Centipede it took more of my time and money, with Xevious coming in a distant third.  I played this game so much that my dad actually fired me from my job at his bar.  It's the only job I got fired from in my life, and he did so because all I did was play "that game."  It was his fault for having it in the bar.

Later on in life I got a version of it for the Super Nintendo and the PSP, both on those museum pack games. Playing on a small screen and/or with less-than-desirable controls took away some of the fun, but it was still a joy to hear that all-too-familiar roar and, "Beware, I live."

Wander into a standard arcade today and you notice quite a few things.  One: less pedophiles.  Two: less kids (hence less pedophiles).  Three: less games like Sinistar.  I know the reasons for this.  As games became more advanced, so did gamers.  They demanded more out of their games, and games like Sinistar just didn't cut the cake.  With the rise of games for mobile phones, however, and the success of things like Bejeweled, games like Sinistar have their place once again, and I think arcades could benefit by pulling in a few of these classics.  They do well when they are stocked at bars, mainly due to a nostalgia factor.

Good games never lose their appeal, but they disappear because there are no venues to play them anymore.      I know if I passed an arcade and heard the roar of a completed Sinistar, I'd be sinking some quarters.  As of now, though, all I hear are sounds of games in demo mode that I have little interest in playing ... and due to the fact that they're in demo mode I'd say that other people feel much the same way.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: Clicking on a link may earn me a commission.

Don't Stop Believin' -- The Journey Video Game

1982.  Journey was everywhere.  You heard it at the mall.  It was on every radio station.  It was the music Rush fans used to get laid.  (That's an inside joke.  My friend once told me that all the girls he wanted to bed hated Rush, but he'd put on Journey and the next thing he knew he'd be looking at the top of their head and wishing camera phones had been invented.)  The only thing hotter than Journey was the Atari 2600.  Imagine when the two of them met.

Journey Escape was the outcome, someone's brilliant idea on the way to cash in on the sweet strains of Joe Perry.  Data Age, the developer and publisher, promised players they'd be guiding Journey past "love-crazed groupies, sneaky photographers, and shifty-eyed promoters" to the safety of the "Journey Escape Vehicle" so that the band could make it to the next concert.  Apparently Data Age missed the idea that bands love "love crazed groupies."  That's the best part of being in a band.  You don't dodge their three-pixel tall bodies, you dive right in.  Regardless, Data Age thought this would be a really cool game for twelve-year-olds to play.



I don't remember how well this game sold, and I never played it.  Avoiding hearts on legs (representing the groupies) never seemed like a fun idea to me, and I was not a huge Journey fan.  (I had the Heavy Metal soundtrack, and that was the extent of my Journey ownership.)  I imagine, however, that there were people who really, really liked this.  If you were a Journey fan who owned an Atari 2600, it was probably a must-buy.    It did well enough that an arcade game based on Journey came out soon after.

The '80s, a time when anything was possible ... and probable.  Journey Escape proves it.  If any of you have played the game, I'd love to hear about it.  Me?  I'm not going to go seek it out for research purposes.  Even I have my limits.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  If you click a link, I may earn a commission.  Wheels go 'round and 'round ...

Dumped by Amazon

The more astute reader may notice I've removed the Amazon banner ads from this blog.  This is due to the fact that Amazon yesterday dumped its California affiliates.  Amazon did not do this randomly; it was a response to Jerry Brown signing onto the budget, which included collecting taxes from Internet businesses maintaining a physical presence in California.  I do not know the ins and outs of all this yet, as I am still examining the budget, but it does cut into a lot of people's revenue.  (My other blogs, which can be found at the bottom of this page, will have the Amazon ads cut, too.)

What does this have to do with video games?  Not much, really, other than I may end up closing a few of these blogs and turning my attentions elsewhere.  I will also no longer be providing links to Amazon on the games I write about.  I'll send my readers elsewhere ... until those businesses follow Amazon's lead.

I believe Amazon acted in haste when it did this.  A knee-jerk reaction to a knee-jerk budget.  Perhaps it was hoping to cause Brown to rethink things.  I am not privy to that.  All I know is that Amazon moved fast and without so much as a nice kiss good-bye.

For those who are boycotting Amazon over this, let me recommend Play-Asia for all your video game needs.

Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on an ad may earn me a small commission ... but not from Amazon, and nor will I spend that money there.

The Supreme Court Vs. California's Parents

Every description is worse than the last.  You can shoot people.  You can torture them.  You can tie them up, hack their heads off, wear their skins and defile a nun.  Like music, comic books and the Internet, "violent" video games have been under the attack for the negative effect, as vague as it is, that they have on our children.  Columbine is dragged out (though if anyone took the time to read the FBI's report on that incident you would see how little effect violent video games had on that) time and time again.  The GTA series and Call of Duty are dragged through the mud.  Every argument is some variation on the same: These games are destroying our children.  No real evidence is given.  None is needed.  When children are at stake it is good enough to just make claims ... or so the general line of thinking has gone.

Until now.

The Supreme Court has ruled that California, my home state -- the one that can't balance a budget without yanking away funding to schools and poor kids -- can't regulate the sales of violent video games to minors.  It has recognized that children's parents should be the gatekeepers and not a government that seems to only care about children when it is convenient.  Kudos, Supreme Court, you did right.

It should have never gone this far.  Really.  It should not have been an issue.  Violent video games exist, just like violent movies and violent books.  They are not every game or even a majority of the games (depending on your definition of violence).  In fact, it seems like the production of "questionable" games has been on the decline.  Since these things exist, it is up to the parents to monitor what their kids are playing and, more importantly, actually communicate with their children about them.  I know it is a strange, New Age idea to actually talk to one's children and treat them like individuals capable of making good and bad decisions (a process learned from their parents), but as a parent it is your job to do just that.  I'm a parent.  I talk to my child about everything.  I discuss the pros and cons, and I don't shy away from discussions about violent video games.  Again: It's my job.

Parents are very happy to give up powers to the state.  The less thinking that goes into raising their kids, the better.  Not all parents, but enough that this fight had to go to the Supreme Court.  And now the decision has been handed down.  A decision that is well-reasoned and filled with common sense (two things lacking in many parents I know).  The parents who will feel slighted (and they are legion) will throw up their hands and cry, "What about the children?"  Well, what about them, parents?  Now that the responsibility is in your court, what will you do?  Will you ignore the problem, or will you have an actual conversation with your child?  One that compares reality to fiction, the horrors of war, anti-social behavior and sexual stereotypes?  Or will you go back to asking legislators to do your job?  The same legislators you don't trust to do anything else.  Keep that in mind.  In the end, your kids can see through your hypocrisy.  Let's just hope they make better decisions than you ... despite your parenting.

The Sims Reproduce on Facebook -- One More Thing to Ruin Friendships

EA is bringing The Sims to Facebook in an attempt for you to get more ridiculous wall posts reminding you that Jenny got a job and Mark is dating Linda.  Just when you thought FarmVille posts about getting fence posts was bad enough ...

I have a version of The Sims for the PS2.  I have not played it a lot.  (I did recreate the family from The Devil's Rejects and made a killing room where I let people die.  I also had fun watching them clean up their urine.)  It takes micromanaging to a new level that sometimes make watching paint dry seem like an extreme sport.  So, no, I will not be playing this game on Facebook.

I know fans of this franchise are a rabid bunch.  Many of the people I know who play it quite often can't really manage their own lives, and they obviously don't get the definition of irony.  Many others find it an amusing use of time.  I beg to differ with that one, but what do I know?  I enjoy watching old Stacey Keach movies.

EA is doing this for one reason only.  It's the same reason that defines every company's existence.  Money.  Games on Facebook rake in a huge amount of money every year by people tired of the same ol' same ol'.  They want to buy better in-game items instead of earning them or whatnot.  That's fine.  Capitalists are a lot like vultures.  If there is money to be had, they are circling the body, and Facebook is nothing but a big, rotting body.

I can only imagine the fallout of this, though.  Facebook ruins friendships and working relationships.  I've seen it happen first hand.  What happens on Facebook doesn't stay on Facebook, and people take this social networking crap way too seriously.  With what I can see Sims people doing, I can only imagine the wreckage of friendships, partnerships and marriages.  ("Your Sims dude was flirting with my sister's Sims dudette.  We're through!")  Far from being concerned about that, however, I actually find it kind of amusing.  Maybe this Sims invasion (similar to the bedbug invasion that dominated the news a while back) isn't such a bad thing after all.  The amount of entertainment that could possibly be gained from not playing the video game could far surpass the little entertainment involved in playing it.  This could be the most fun Sims game ever.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on a link may earn me a commission, which I shall use to purchase a game room for my Sims people.

PlayStation Network Hack ... Worse Than Originally Thought?

Sony has had its hands full lately.  The April hack, which resulted in the loss of millions (77 million by one account) of people's personal information, is expected to cost the Japanese company the equivalent of $170 million (US).  Couple that with the earthquake that hit Japan and low consumer confidence, and Sony is doing the proverbial shitting of bricks.  Not in public, though.

Sony has been, by all appearances, fairly open about the hack.  Anyone who has studied business, however, knows that the problems Sony has discussed are nothing compared to the problems the company is actually experiencing.  That's Business 101.  Put on a happy face.

Denying new hacks, meekly apologizing about overtaxed servers, stating there is no evidence of any of the credit card information that was stolen being used, and so on is there to put consumers and investors at ease.  Whether or not works remains to be seen, but either way Sony has problems.

Sony has made plenty of mistakes as of late.  The PSP Go and the overpriced PS3 are two of the notable ones.  These are not minor mistakes.  These are company altering mistakes, and while it appeared the company was trying to correct them and ride them out, setbacks like this exemplify just how weak the company has become.  In the years past, people would have forgiven Sony for a hack like this.  They would've stuck by it.  Now?  That future is uncertain.  Plenty of people have lost confidence in the Japanese giant.  The hack pushed them to the edge.  Things are not back to normal yet, and when operations do resume I expect the amount of users on the PlayStation Network may be far less than Sony expects.

Jaw Dropped

My daughter is pretty good at some video games.  Soul Calibur 3 is one of those she kicks much ass on.  In addition to fighting games, she also enjoys racing games (arcade racers).  Her favorite amongst those is the legendary Burnout 3.  Up until two days ago it had been months since we played it.  At that time she did the same thing all little kids do when first learning racing games:  spun around a lot, hit the guardrails a lot, had to reverse a lot. 


Then everything changed.

The other night she asked to play it with me.  I loaded it up on the trusty PS2 and we picked our cars.  The countdown began, and I reminded myself that I would be stopping along the track a few times to let her catch up, much like I've done for Mirror when she attempted to master Gran Turismo 4 (and she will kill me if she reads that).

As soon as we got the green, she was past me.  In fact, it was an honest-to-goodness race, with her leading most of the time (she officially won two of three).  No rail running.  No out of control spins.  Just good ol' fashioned madness that the game is supposed to deliver.  I was so stunned that at one point I was convinced that I was playing the system and not my six-year-old.  Somehow between the last time we played and now she got good at it.  She hasn't been practicing at someone else's house.  She hadn't been practicing when I'm asleep.  She just got good.

Besides being impressed, I started mentally ticking off all the games I could introduce her to.  Games I have avoided because they take more precise control.  She was interested, too.  She started asking me about ones she could see in the stacks.  As she said, "I want to beat you at those, too."

Perfect.



Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on a link can earn me a small commission.  It could lead to some cool games, too.

Gaming As The New Storytelling Medium

When I was in the fourth grade there was this ... incident.  We got a new kid in class named Chris.  He didn't last the day.

Chris was a nail wrong side up from the start.  He was unruly, to be polite.  He called the teacher a pig.  She tried to reason with him.  When that didn't work, she tried to send him to the corner.  His response to this was to overturn his chair, jump on his desk and run around the room all while reminding the teacher she was a pig.

We all sat there watching in silent amusement/shock/horror.

Eventually another teacher was called in and they removed Chris from the classroom by cornering him and literally lifting him off his kicking feet.  We never saw him again.  Kent State was probably still in the teachers' minds, so no police were called, unlike today when pepper spray is used by cops to subdue unruly kids.

The video game industry is a lot like Chris.  It makes a lot of noise, is often seen as out of control and rather pointless by those around it.  You see, the video game industry likes to think it is the next wave in storytelling, the go-to-guys for our entertainment and, dare I say it, art.  Society isn't having it, though,  and the industry isn't responding well to the demands of such a task.  We video game consumers can only sit back and watch it all play out as society tries to control a beast it doesn't understand (and one that doesn't understand itself).

I don't know many people who play video games because of the story they tell or even the art they supposedly represent (I covered that in a post quite some time ago in a post that caused some debate).  Most people play them because they are fun.  There are some fans and many in the industry, though, who insist, like the industry does, that the stories are worthy of comment and mention, and many will even claim they have reached a place where they can be considered "classic" and art.  They will talk about shedding tears at the ending of their favorite games, and others will talk about how these games will eventually replace movies and books as the storytelling medium of choice.

Quite frankly, those people need to set their standards a lot higher, as what I've seen doesn't come close to meeting those goals.

Books, movies and television are arguably the media of choice in culture for delivering a story.  They are agreed upon by critics and consumers to be proven storytelling mediums.  They have done so within the constraints of whatever medium they work in, too.  They don't try to be something they are not, and because of that, when a a film, for example, is made to deliver an experience that is a visual masterpiece and a new direction in storytelling (much like Enter the Void), we give the artistic or entertainment venture a benefit of a doubt because we know from past experience that the medium can deliver.  Video games haven't reached that point yet, and if people don't start getting realistic about it, they never will.

Video games are great entertainment.  They can connect with players in ways that board games or card games cannot.  They are still games, however, and as much as a story might be linked to them, the story will always be secondary to the game play.  Books tell stories.  They are a simple medium that has the ability to deliver a powerful message.  When the Choose Your Own Adventure series came out, it was books trying to become a game, and while it was amusing, it diluted the message the book could deliver.  Had 1984 been written as a Choose Your Own Adventure, it would have never withstood the test of time.

This is not to say video games cannot deliver an amazing experience within the confines of a game.  They can.  I don't think they've done that on a consistent scale yet, though, and until that happens, the general public isn't going to accept them as a viable storytelling medium.  In order for the video games to grow, the public has to accept them on some level.  That will result in mediocre games and definite mishaps (as is standard with books, movies and television), but it will also result in some great games that resonate with people.  Right now more people understand, accept and appreciate Bejeweled than Red Dead Redemption.  One may tell a better story (an easy feat when the other has no story behind it), but until society grabs onto that game like it does a simpler game, that story will have no serious lasting power.

The video game industry has to get its priorities straight.  Does it want to make games that appeal to hardcore gamers, non-gamers and casual gamers alike, or does it want to create stories and art?  Until it focuses on the games, it has no hope of effectively reaching the artistic stage and becoming a serious contender in the storytelling medium.  One easy, surefire test?  Think of how odd it is to hear someone say they don't like or watch movies.  Now think of how common it is to hear people say they don't play video games.  When that changes, video games will be in a position to become a new medium worthy of its boasts.  That day isn't here yet, though, and I don't think we'll be seeing it any time soon.



Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on links to my affiliates will possibly earn me a small commission.  Clicking on other links may provide you with interesting news and information.  Masturbation will not lead to blindness, either.  That's science.