The Sims Reproduce on Facebook -- One More Thing to Ruin Friendships

EA is bringing The Sims to Facebook in an attempt for you to get more ridiculous wall posts reminding you that Jenny got a job and Mark is dating Linda.  Just when you thought FarmVille posts about getting fence posts was bad enough ...

I have a version of The Sims for the PS2.  I have not played it a lot.  (I did recreate the family from The Devil's Rejects and made a killing room where I let people die.  I also had fun watching them clean up their urine.)  It takes micromanaging to a new level that sometimes make watching paint dry seem like an extreme sport.  So, no, I will not be playing this game on Facebook.

I know fans of this franchise are a rabid bunch.  Many of the people I know who play it quite often can't really manage their own lives, and they obviously don't get the definition of irony.  Many others find it an amusing use of time.  I beg to differ with that one, but what do I know?  I enjoy watching old Stacey Keach movies.

EA is doing this for one reason only.  It's the same reason that defines every company's existence.  Money.  Games on Facebook rake in a huge amount of money every year by people tired of the same ol' same ol'.  They want to buy better in-game items instead of earning them or whatnot.  That's fine.  Capitalists are a lot like vultures.  If there is money to be had, they are circling the body, and Facebook is nothing but a big, rotting body.

I can only imagine the fallout of this, though.  Facebook ruins friendships and working relationships.  I've seen it happen first hand.  What happens on Facebook doesn't stay on Facebook, and people take this social networking crap way too seriously.  With what I can see Sims people doing, I can only imagine the wreckage of friendships, partnerships and marriages.  ("Your Sims dude was flirting with my sister's Sims dudette.  We're through!")  Far from being concerned about that, however, I actually find it kind of amusing.  Maybe this Sims invasion (similar to the bedbug invasion that dominated the news a while back) isn't such a bad thing after all.  The amount of entertainment that could possibly be gained from not playing the video game could far surpass the little entertainment involved in playing it.  This could be the most fun Sims game ever.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on a link may earn me a commission, which I shall use to purchase a game room for my Sims people.

A Bunch of Donkeys

I have not tried Farmville yet on Facebook, and most likely never will.  I have, however, started playing Texas Hold 'Em Poker on there, and while I've come out ahead on every game I've played but the first one (where I was just testing the software), I must say it is some of the worst poker I've ever seen.

When online poker for real money was legal, I played ... a lot.  A lot.  I won money, tournaments.  It was good.  Hell,  I had so many people ask me how to get started that I wrote a book on it. (You can find it toward the top of this blog.)  When the game became quasi-legal, though, sites started shutting out American players.  I stayed away from the online poker then, but after some people sent me chips on Facebook I decided to return to the Green Hell and partake.

Fuck.

I have never seen so many people just play shit hands to see what will happen.  All-in with a 3, 8 off-suit?  Why not?  This happens all the time.  If you've played it on Facebook, you know it's true.  I understand it's play money, but players should be taking the opportunity to hone their skills at the real thing.  I guarantee that if those players would play like that with real money, they would not be enjoying game very long. 

When I run into these players at a table (and it's every table), I play them the way they are supposed to be played.  I wait.  I have the patience of a yogi master.  I wait until I have the right cards and then I wipe them out.  They come right back, and I do it again.  They get confident because I give them small pots, but they don't learn when I take all their money.  And that's the problem with these players: They don't learn.

I'm almost embarrassed for them.  It is actually quite ridiculous.  To face them in real life would be a pleasure, but I would take no honor in it.  I would take their money, because that is the rules of the game we are engaged in, but there would be no honor in defeating an opponent who is so unskilled as to think that is an effective strategy.  To be quite frank, I'd rather face a skilled opponent and lose my money than to face these morons and take all their chips. 

So, if you are interested in playing me, I play under Doug Brunell on Facebook.  I'm not there all the time, but I am there a few times a week.  I'm playing at the lower end tables usually, though I will be playing tournaments soon.  Hope to see you there, but don't be an idiot or you'll soon find yourself refreshing your chips.