Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wii Sports Will Kill You
If you haven't ever played the boxing mode, understand that any semblance to real-life boxing is entirely absent from this game. You have no arms. You box strange Asian men or '70s looking male porn stars. The controls could only be less responsive if they were mired in caramel. And pulling off a punch is satisfying if only because it's so damn hard. No, I take that back. It's fairly easy to pull of a hit. It's hard to do one that's worth it. So why do I torture myself so? It's fun and great exercise.
Depending on how long I pound strange Asian men or '70s porn stars, my arms will ache for a day or so after. Win a bout and your skill level climbs. In other games this will make your character better. In this game it just means you'll be facing harder enemies. Your actual physical skills while matched with unresponsive controllers is all you'll have. It doesn't matter what your skill level is in the game. You're either gonna get your ass creamed or not.
The game is frustrating. Not frustrating like N+, but frustrating nonetheless. That frustration, however, translates into harder swings and more satisfaction when you take down your opponent. Yes, your chest will feel like its about to explode, and your arms will hate you the next day, but you're working up a sweat and you just punched some big-headed weirdo in the face. That's the sign success.
I have a skill level I'm trying to get to. I'm about three hundred and some points away from it. Getting there will be a minor victory in the game of life, but it will be a victory. Can I make it? Honestly, I don't even know if the skill level goes that high, but I'm going to push myself to try. If I have a heart attack in the meantime, so be it. I'm sure I won't be the first one to have that happen, and I won't be the last. And that's the only way I'll let the game beat me.