Bayshore Malls' Gamestop Creatures

Eureka, California's Bayshore Mall has had a Gamestop store for quite a few years.  Recently it moved into a bigger location within the mall, which was necessary.  Before, when it was located by the food court, any kind of shopping done at anything but the most off hours resulted in you being jostled by the unwashed masses who would rather converse amongs themselves about Call of Duty instead of watching were they were actually going.  The new location is bigger, cleaner, better lit and smells less of desperation and more like new carpet ... still.  It really is like the difference between Taster's Choice coffee and, well, any other brand of coffee.

I was in Gamestop over the weekend, looking for games for my daughter.  As always, there were the gaggle of teen boys trying to convince their parents to part with their hard-earned dough.  ("But you don't play the first one of this game."  "I know, Mom.  This is new.")  It's something these parents should get used to, as it will probably last until the kid is into his twenties.  And while I find these slacker morons annoying, it's really the sales staff that pushes my buttons.

First, is it just me, or is it that any guy over 30 who works there comes across as a bit creepy?  I'm actually tempted to take a part-time position to see if that is something they train you on.  ("Don't come across as a pedophile.  Come across as a guy who would get a teenage boy stoned to see if you could talk him into 'trying something new.'  Play up the fact that you have your own apartment.  Do not discuss that your mother helps you with rent.  Do make sure to point out you can buy alcohol and have a 'kick ass' sound system.")  I'm sure it's just me.  That stoner predatory feel isn't the most annoying thing about them, though.  It's the upsell.

I know every store employee these days is encouraged to do the upsell.  You know what it is, even if you didn't know the name.  It's when you are making a purchase and everything from batteries to warranties are thrown at you in an attempt to get you to part with even more money.  At Gamestop they even try to sell you a warranty that will fix scratched games.  "No thanks," I said.  "I keep everything in good shape.  I'm not like a lot of these idiots here."  That always results in looks of hatred from the people behind you.

The upsell is one of the more tiresome retail experiences.  It is one of those things that drives people to shop more on the Internet, and it is something that makes me dread taking a purchase to the counter.  If I need batteries, a warranty, a subscription to a game magazine or to pre-order the "next hot thing," I'll do what anyone else can do and ask.  A salesperson pushing it upon me won't suddenly trigger something in my mind like, "Shit, I do need a dozen double A batteries."  You aren't that good.  It won't work.

You know, Gamestop, that smell of despair that used to ooze from your old location?  I used to think that was the customers.  The folks who masturbated over World of Warcraft "relationships."  Now I know differently.  That's coming from the sales staff.  A more desperate group of predators (in every sense) I have yet to meet.  I imagine it won't be long before that new carpet smell is replaced, and you folks will be hunting yet again for a new location to taint.

GameStop Adventures

I don't really like GameStop. At least not the one at the Bayshore Mall in Eureka, California. The staff is comprised mainly of idiots with a few beacons of hope. I was in there today, though, sick as hell and looking for a game for my daughter. Here is the fun stuff I experienced.

First was a guy trying to buy a strategy guide for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The young man appeared to be mentally challenged because when they asked his age he said, "I don't know. I was born in 1990." The store refused to sell him the book because it was for a mature-rated game. The manager, who takes every other opportunity to upsell, stated it was company policy. I can see not selling the game (not that I agree with it), but the strategy guide? Wow.

Next up was a guy trying to buy a PSP game for his daughter. He was told the game wasn't in the box, but there was in its place a code so that he could download the game from the PSN store. His response? "Download it on the computer?" The manager quickly corrected him. It only took about four more times before he got a better grasp of the conversation.

Then came the real winners. A mom and son. They were looking for the lastest Super Mario Brothers game for the PS2. Yeah, you read that correctly. When they were told that the franchise never made an appearance on the PlayStation, they got a little testy, but no worries. They were also picking up cheap PC games.

The manager made a point of asking what OS they were using. The lady said it was XP. The manager pressed to make sure because the games wouldn't work on Vista of 7. "No, it's XP," the woman replied. "It's brand new. I got it yesterday at Wal-Mart."

"It might be using 7," the manager said.

"No. It's XP. It's brand new."

I wasn't going to wait around to see how pissed they would be when they brought back the games because the manager told them it would work on their system and it doesn't (and you know how that is how that conversation would go). I would have loved to have heard it, though.

It's always a thrill at GameStop. If it isn't the employees, it's the customers. When will they ever learn?