A Bunch of Donkeys

I have not tried Farmville yet on Facebook, and most likely never will.  I have, however, started playing Texas Hold 'Em Poker on there, and while I've come out ahead on every game I've played but the first one (where I was just testing the software), I must say it is some of the worst poker I've ever seen.

When online poker for real money was legal, I played ... a lot.  A lot.  I won money, tournaments.  It was good.  Hell,  I had so many people ask me how to get started that I wrote a book on it. (You can find it toward the top of this blog.)  When the game became quasi-legal, though, sites started shutting out American players.  I stayed away from the online poker then, but after some people sent me chips on Facebook I decided to return to the Green Hell and partake.

Fuck.

I have never seen so many people just play shit hands to see what will happen.  All-in with a 3, 8 off-suit?  Why not?  This happens all the time.  If you've played it on Facebook, you know it's true.  I understand it's play money, but players should be taking the opportunity to hone their skills at the real thing.  I guarantee that if those players would play like that with real money, they would not be enjoying game very long. 

When I run into these players at a table (and it's every table), I play them the way they are supposed to be played.  I wait.  I have the patience of a yogi master.  I wait until I have the right cards and then I wipe them out.  They come right back, and I do it again.  They get confident because I give them small pots, but they don't learn when I take all their money.  And that's the problem with these players: They don't learn.

I'm almost embarrassed for them.  It is actually quite ridiculous.  To face them in real life would be a pleasure, but I would take no honor in it.  I would take their money, because that is the rules of the game we are engaged in, but there would be no honor in defeating an opponent who is so unskilled as to think that is an effective strategy.  To be quite frank, I'd rather face a skilled opponent and lose my money than to face these morons and take all their chips. 

So, if you are interested in playing me, I play under Doug Brunell on Facebook.  I'm not there all the time, but I am there a few times a week.  I'm playing at the lower end tables usually, though I will be playing tournaments soon.  Hope to see you there, but don't be an idiot or you'll soon find yourself refreshing your chips.