Saturday, February 20, 2010
Final Fantasy Freaks
I've never played any of the Final Fantasy games. I never played them because I didn't like the name. I know it sounds weird, but if it's the final fantasy there shouldn't be more than one of them. I know the story behind the name and all that, but it still won't get me to buy them. Yes, I'm picky, but I bet you do some pretty stupid shit, too, like look at Final Fantasy porn.
So how the hell did I come across this (no pun intended)?
I was going to do a post on the world of Final Fantasy games and wanted some art to go with it, so I did a Google search for "naked Final Fantasy." That, of course, led to the wonderful world of Final Fantasy facials, fellatio and female submission.
One site is Final Fantasy Hentai. From here you can find porn dedicated to Tomb Raider, too. What the hell? Is there such a lack of porn on the Internet that masturbating to images of Lara Croft is the only thing that will get people off now? Do people have so much trouble relating to real females that polygons are easier to deal with and more exciting?
I always looked at the Final Fantasy universe as something inhabited by people with spikey hair fantasies and the mindset that bigger is always better. Now I realize it is also populated with socially awkward bedroom masturbaters with little to no communication skills.
We live in a world where Senators (who are also sexually deviant in their own boring way) take the Grand Theft Auto franchise to task for its use of sex and violence, yet make no mention of "A Real Yuna, and a Real Cum Shot." Perhaps they, like pimple-faced 13-year-old boys and sexually experimenting twentysomething females, are enjoying the world of Final Fantasy filth a little too much.
More power to you, freaks! I'll stick with crush videos and secret footage of drunk girlfriends urinating.