Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dance, Fatboy, Dance

Okay, I could lose some weight. Problem is, I hate the overwrought homosexual vibe of gyms, I don't enjoy sweating, and I'm a big fan of soda and pizza. Yes, I walk a lot and ride my bike (even skateboard when the mood strikes), but that isn't enough.

Enter Dance Dance Revolution Supernova 2.

Yeah, I can hear the snickering, but it actually works. The game has a workout mode that tracks your weight, calories burned and distance you would have jogged had you not been in your living room screwing around on a dance pad. That alone made it worthwhile to me. The fact that I've been losing weight (coupled with changing my diet and so on), has kept me playing it.

What's the only problem? The music.

I'm a fan of punk, metal, industrial, blues and so on. A-Ha and some wacky Japanese pop stars (not to mention Bobby Brown) doesn't really motivate me the way the game makers probably intended. I know there's a game out there that utilizes your own CDs to make workout routines, but I haven't bought that yet. So, I have this grudge against the music.

The music is probably the worse thing about this game ... if nobody is around. If you are with a crowd, though, the worst thing is actually playing it. Simply put, you'll look foolish. And if there's a ten-year-old girl in the crowd who has played the game twice, well, she will hand you your ass on a plate. It's embarrassing. When my daughter watches me play, she coaches. "Way to go, Dad. You almost got it. It's getting faster. You're screwing up." I'm playing it on beginner and she is four.

Like masturbation, alcoholism and cross-dressing, playing DDR Supernova 2 is something best done alone. It will save you from looking like you are about to have a heart attack in front of your peers, and will also save you from comments like, "Wow, you aren't really that co-ordinated for guy pushing forty."

Enjoy, but consider yourself warned.


  1. The only reason I go to the theatre in McKinleyville is so that I can play DDR in the lobby when I "accidentally" arrive 45-50 minutes before the movie starts. Dance, sucka'!

    Another option for you, other than the pre-programmed DDR music, is to let me bring over my karaoke machine, you can mute the television, and dance your heart away as I serenade you with the sweet sounds of Gloria Estefan. No?

    "Felicidad en estas navidades felicidad!" Gloria translates: "Felicidad inspires us to look back and remember the year we have just lived. It's a time of introspection, a time for sharing, a time for remembering the good things and to open our eyes to our own possible destinations and to follow that path with a happy heart."

    Dance, sucka'!

    I once challenged Chocolate Thunda' to a dance-off in McK, but she was scared to test my skills.


  2. You know, I loved when she broke her back. Now that's a sound I want to dance to.